NURSHAFINA
unless you're me,don't judge me.
i'm sick of pretending games.
i'm friendly and nice only if you're.
it's all about me,
i don't stop you from reading on
much love,fifi.
just so you know,
Wednesday, December 02, 2009, 12:03 AM
FOR MY COGNITIVE FACILITATOR;Question:
What have been the best memories that had happened to you by chance? How have you learned from that event?
Response:
the best memory that had happened to me by chance, is bumping into my eye candy every now and then during semester one. bumping into him outside class. during fire drills, breaks, walking home, bumping into him at sentosa, by chance share our circle of friends and by chance seeing him around the estate where i live.from that event, i learnt that, he's just an eye candy and no guy that is super great that i should get happy and exicted about. so when i got to know, that he realise we bump into each other a little bit too much by chance, i decided its not already by chance. it's just like stalking.
faci, i really dont know why my dental appoinment will clash with your lesson. but anyway, i've tried to change it on monday again. hope it doesn't clash anymore. one F is enough and yes, will be seeing another F for today.
seriously,i dont deserve that first F you gave me because you claim that you dont see any learning made on that day. but on the following week you know i understood your lesson. i learn okay! but yeah, i know im partial-ing today and i didnt present again. so i deserve the F this week. =.= LOL. and if LOL is a bad word,here i tell you LOL stands for Laughing Out Loud.
and, you made me feel as though youre against me or something. not as if i never made an effort for changing the days. but hey,look! ive change my appoinment from monday to tuesday. and dont make it as though i skipped your lesson on purpose.
and,we didnt speak of any religion just now. its so cognitive to be asking who created what and whatever the lesson is about. and asking who created us, has got nothing to do or offending any religion in our class. if you feel offended,im sorry. cause i started the whole conversation.
its already week 9 and if you think i deserve F all the way till end of semester, by all means. you have the upper hand after all.just tell me, if youre giving me an F so that i can just skipped your class,this time round. on purpose. (:
**whoever who thinks im rude or too much or whatever, keep it to your self uh. cause, im a loser who dont need another human at this moment of my life to be my mirror and expect me to reflect myself when they are just throwing bad remarks. ish! say something nice bitch!
Sunday, November 22, 2009, 11:11 PM
tired of living my own life.for, no matter how hard i tried,
no matter how much i avoid,
no matter what i do,
it's still haunting me.
happy moment are treasured.
no matter how much it hurts,
happy memories still bring smiles.
but fighting, hurting,bruise,scars.
that's no memories one would want to have.
being a victim and getting a glass stuck on the knee.
that's one thing you should realise,
that you should just follow my say;
end it all once and for all.
Monday, November 16, 2009, 11:50 PM
HOW SWEEET?! :DIF ONLY,IT'S COMING FROM YOU. ISH!
"okay sweet.anything just text me aites."
the word,"sweet" reminds me so much of you. ish ish ish! but no fi. must be as ego as the others. must build it up up high and never break that wall. yes yes. :D
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and its so rare for guys to like short hair girls but reading,"actually i fetish short hair girls." just makes me a little happier because youre still that,"cute boy" my friend would address you as.
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and thanks, for the free ride home ^.^
Sunday, November 15, 2009, 11:48 PM
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HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY NINI!
i still remember the first impression i had of you.
never thought, we could ever get close.
your cartoon expression.
your cute voice and that," your mama cheebye square~"
oh my god! i miss old times.
i thank the boys for all this.
how they brought two friendship together.
nevertheless,even if they are no longer here, the girls will still stick as one.(:
iloveyou babe! :D
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on the weekends, went to wacth 2012. the movie lasted for 2 hour plus. ish! and it made me fall asleep twice! wasted few bucks there! sheesh! but, the movie was errr okayee. but the schindler list is better. better movie, better athmosphere and at better cost. (: had pizza hut for lunch and.. breeks for dinner. was still hungry that i ate mac for supper. gaining weight? fat? ugly? that's me if i keep on continuing this kind of diet. ouhhhh yes! should start taking care of myself because i see flabs here and there. ): swimming will be a great idea!(: yes yes,pretty soon.
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i was super pissed of with my team mates on friday. because there was clearly no team work! urgh! and, i wonder why my class hates my chemistry faci so much when i see she's no harm. she's so fair in her grading. obviously, if youre playing game or whatever during class time, then she'll know you are not playing attention right? and to top it up you didnt even contribute much. equates to lower grades. what you expect? an A for playing game and not contributing? an A for not doing anything? think again. just think. is it fair for her to give you an A when other people who did more stuffs and contributed a lot more gets A too? just think. all she wanted was your attention and participation.
so when i did my RJ,i was being such a bitch. super big B-I-T-C-H on my laptop screen while i was replying to the days question.
Question: What are some indicators that you would look for during third meeting to see if someone worked hard, interacted with classmates and learned something? Using these indicators, how do you evaluate your performance in third meeting?
Response: their understanding. whether they know how to use the protocol with the understanding they had in the lab. whether they interacted with classmate is to ensure that their own team member knows everything that they are presenting in their slide. ensure that during presentation, when asked any one of the team members to explain they are confident in explaining. sometimes, its not they dont know how to explain. but they dont know how to put it in words. they understand it but dont know how to express their answer to others understanding. whether they learn something is that, when asked any question, they manage to answer the question. like for example in class, classmate always ask question. make sure, they know which are mistake and learn from it and which are misunderstanding and explain it in another way.
for today, i did badly. because, firstly, i was late. and i didnt know what happen during first meeting.then when tasked to do the protocol i was lost. i asked bing jie to help out. yes,i always tried to make my team mates work together. but at times, there are limits. i can say, only i and bing jie did the work. amirah, nigel and ting didnt help out. when doing the practical part, i asked them to do. because then, i know by doing they will some sort learn something. but even after doing, they didnt help out in the third meeting. bing jie and i did the power point. and when we didnt finish it on time, its as though, its our fault. but then, its the lack of team work that pulls us all down as a whole. i also didnt pay much attention during third meeting because i was distracted. its like, no mood already because powerpoint was incomplete and everything was in a rush. team mates are sooo dead except for bing jie. i know, my team will one day realise that to have the grades they really want, we need team work and major attention in class.
the highlighted in blue, its referring to a particular someone. its really irritating. we have so many things to do, if we do the job in a proper portion then whole team will get the same grades right? then if i do the theory part,i do the practical part,then what you do? then when graded a lower grades, dont want come for next lesson and start hating faci. come on! like, be more reasonable. ish! and please,those who ever work with me, know that i keep on talking not because i want to irritate you guys or just get on your nerve. i ask all kind of question so that we have team work. have that discussion all faci wana see. now, *roll eyes* cause true enough, no one sees my intention.
and my faci reply is:
Hi, Shafina!
I feel very sad reading your RJ that team is not really functioning as I am suspecting, but like you said there is so much one can do. You do what you need to do but you should not be guilty for your teammates' low performance. I want to commend the way you were initiative in setting up the protocol, though you came in late. Yes, your presentation was finished very late which is an area you can improve. During third meeting, presented data and calculation with clear explanation and appreciated the fact that moles are important when carrying out the titration and why I could add water to the unknown.
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speaking of which, i hate hate haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it when people fed themself with a a huge serving of ego and act like im invisable.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009, 3:27 PM
better stop it sia! so what? so whaaaaaaaaat?! so what if he talk to me? so what sia? no longer that eye candy or some mr.smily smily that could make me smile upon hearing his name.HAH! its funny knowing he knows stuffs about me. yeah yeah,nothing new. i know stuffs about him too. but dont have to tell me that he knows where i live right? just goes to show, you did talk about me to your friends or stuffs like that.and to some people,i wonder just what the hell is wrong? acting all strong and all. whats so difficult to make me at least smile or skip a hard beat receiving one stupid text messages? urgh! whatever. i'm so tired of living my own life. everything seems not right. this wrong,that wrong. and then,go on following me on everything i said or people say about me. =.= no use still having hopes. no use still thinking. no use still missing you. no use. fifi,kau matikan sumer harapan lagi bagus!Wednesday, November 04, 2009, 10:37 PM
i cant held on to my own tears.i cant help but to cry. Idk why baby.but,its dissapointing?idk why baby,but it hurts. Like,i cant believe this is happening. I know its not happening to me,but for a fact that,youre facing all this.what about the dreams you once told me?whats about the future,education,what's gonna happen to you? I saw how people when through this phase of life.i just hope,yours is better.am i right to give you the support you need?or should i not? Am i right to worry and think of whats gonna happen in your future or should i take a step back? Its your decision afterall. But baby,you know i love you.though we arent that close.eventhough we hardly meet,we're still us.idk how im suppose to react. But,loving you so much,i'll respect your decision and give you my support. you'll have me to fall on to. But yes,ive yet to hear the whole situation from you. If its true,do takecare till we meet again some day. *hugs* for,youre someone i love dearly. Baby,hope you know im refering to you.Tuesday, November 03, 2009, 1:30 PM
seeing at all my grades and individual comment makes me wana give up. not as if im doing badly but just not satisfying. its not as if i cant do, but i just give up. for, semester two isnt the same as the previous one.how i miss, semester one. just everything that happened on semester one. from, nice bunch of classmates, to seeing such a sweet face almost everyday and of course,how nice to have someone i love a level above me. how nice to feel the love one so close. but then again, love fades,love gone. love was never to stay forever. i miss you sugar.miss you a lot.):Monday, November 02, 2009, 9:27 AM
it's a great monday morning. :D how that wonderful smile,appeared right before me as soon as i turn around. that wonderful smile, that sweet face just creates a wonderful monday. making my monday blues a colourful one. i just, can't stop myself from smilling. it's been so long since i felt this "riang". happy like one mad dog. :D and no,its not a swim suit my dear.Saturday, October 31, 2009, 1:29 AM
))))))';The wound isnt getting any better.instead,its getting whole lot worse. It has harden few days back. It wasn't slimy or whatever disguting looking as it is now. Haiyaaa. After i bath just now,i realise the white harden skin suddenly gets all slimy and soft and could be move right and left. Fucccccking disgustingggg! Plus the slime. Eeeeeee!!))))): i never had the chance to take care of such wound because most of the time i take very good care of myself. And if ever i injured myself,its just a scratch or like rope burnt. Or just a minor fall which cause small scrathes on the knee or something like that. Seeing how the wound stays on my hands with all the slime,skin tearing apart,flesh and what not,just disgust me.feels like plucking it out of my hands.but thats no happening because its a stupid wound. Urghhh! Covering up with a plaster helps. Help me not looking at how disgusting it is.but at the same time,im making it worse because instead of letting it heal and gets dries up,im going to make the healing process longer and creates rashes.)): over small little wound,i'm all disgusted. Its very disgusting that i couldnt help but let my eyes shows some concern and pity myself for doing such a thing. )))):
Tuesday, October 27, 2009, 12:22 PM
after seeing how it really won't heal. it hurts. im going to live off my life with a scar that happens out of anger and frustration. now, throughout my entire life time, im going to have this scar which reminded me about the painful moments i once had when im 17. i'm going to have an ugly hand which can only be hidden through the help of plaster. but how long could i hide it? sooner, parents will be supicious. then,its another obstacle again. i just wished, all of you will be strong enough and cheer up. i'm sorry but i have to let go. i don't want to be in "it" anymore. hearing and helping another soul hurts. im not fit to help anybody or give advices when i,myself aren't living life that great either. i really wished, scars would dissapear. my first ever scar. now,ive uglified my own body. ):